Intimacy

 

Some ideas to deepen your relationship with self and others:

 

1. Give yourself daily appreciations and acknowledgements and those close to you: examples: beautiful moments in time, what you noticed, what worked and didn't work, look at levels and dimensions of communication and lack of communication, feelings, things created, things let go of, patterns etc.

 

2. What is your primary language of love (Gary Chapman): quality time, touch, words of affirmation, gift giving or acts of service?  We need all of them, but usually one or two are primary.  Find out what yours is and the people closest to you. Learn to give them their primary love language in action and ask for yours.

 

3. Soul gazing: gaze into another's eyes, or your own eyes in the mirror, then ask the question "who am I?" and keep going deeper, notice what thoughts, beliefs arise; are they true? Are they identities? What are you identified with?

 

4. Active listening: listen from neutrality, there is nothing to fix, listen and feel what the other is saying.  Feel your own breath and body as you listen, allow yourself to stay present with yourself as an active witness to another.

 

5. Keep a daily journal: of reflections of the day, questions, noticings, experiences, feelings, presence or lack of presence, ideas, dreams, fears, etc.

 

6. Some Basics: body/mind/spirit health: enough sleep, water, exercises, bathing, touch, sex, meditations, self-love, eating slowly, mindfulness, gentleness with self, make your inner critic a cheerleading supportive ally, validating self, keeping ones word, personal integrity, following through with goals and agreements, only making promises you want to make and can and will keep, tuning into your inner wisdom through out the day, acts of kindness, having fun, creative expressions, breathing fully . . . 

 

 

Blessings, Love Lottie 

 

 

Recommended books:

 

Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate: Gary D. Chapman, James S. Bell

 

The Law of Attraction: Esther and Jerry Hicks

 

Tantric Love: A nine-step guide to transforming lovers into soul mates: Ma Ananda Sarita and Swami Anand Geho

 

Ask and it is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires: Esther and Jerry Hicks

The Gift: poems by Hafiz, The Great Sufi Master, translations by Daniel Ladinsky